Romance and Kids
Children are such an amazing gift and many married couples decide they want to add a few little ones to their family. What often happens however, is that romance can get lost in translation. It is very important to me that when we have kids, we can still be us. So I like reading about what other couples do to keep their sex life active even after having children.
I read an article that gives some really great pointers about how to keep the romance alive after the kids arrive. The author places a big emphasis on planning ahead. Schedules fill up quickly with all of the kid’s events so planning ahead will help ensure that you are making time for each other and not having to worry about anything else.
Make sure to have a date night at least once a month. If you and your partner can manage once a week, this is even better. Ask friends and family members or even your older children if they will help with babysitting, and make sure to go somewhere romantic. Place a “we will not talk about the children” rule on the table and have fun. Think about some of your more romantic dates or memories: This will help set the mood.
She also suggests using code words around the kids to let your husband or wife know how you are feeling, planning romantic getaways at least once and year and of course, keeping open lines of communication.
Source: http://www.life123.com/
To swing or not to swing…
Swinging is something that a surprising number of couples do. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are having problems in their relationship but just that they either want to watch other people have sex, add another person to their sex session or add multiple people to it. Obviously, jealousy can come up as an issue and that is one I personally struggle with. Thus being the reason I research information about ways to get over it.
There are many different types of swinging and it all depends on what you and your partner are looking for.
Exhibitionism: This means you want to stay with your partner but you like being watched by others.
Voyeurism: This is when you enjoy watching others mess around or have sex without being involved. In some areas, this may not be acceptable so it is important to check with whatever event you will be at beforehand.
Soft Swap: When you do venture to other couples but stick to touching and kissing. Oral may also be included in a soft swap.
Peak/Full Swap: This is when you have sex with someone other than your partner.
There are other kinds such as group sex, threesomes and other extreme forms of play.
You can also choose whether you want to be in the same room or different room as your partner. Many couple’s prefer to be in the same room because it turns them on to see their partner with someone else. A popular option is girl on girl. The men will watch while the women get to play with each other.
The idea around swinging is to enhance your sex life with your partner by putting yourselves in a very sexy, comfortable environment where your fantasies can become reality. Due to the measures taken, I would say you need to be in a strong relationship and that both people have to want to swing. That doesn’t mean that both people want to participate but just that they will be comfortable and open minded about whatever happens. If both people weren’t comfortable or if one went too far, it could ruin a normally healthy relationship.
There are a few ways to find other swingers in your area and one I am personally more comfortable with is SDC.com. You can try it for free, make a profile of you and your partners preferences including, looks that you prefer, what you are looking for and what you both will and will not do. They also offer other services where you can chat with other swingers so if you are new to it, this may be where you realize what you want or where you can meet a couple and chat with them first before meeting up in person. You can also look at sex clubs, or house parties if you are lucky enough to get invited. I personally was never good at picking up men while I was single so I prefer a website to help me with that part.
I read this article that goes over the different reasons couples drop out of the swinging lifestyle and the number one reason is jealousy. Close after is threat to marriage. These are all things that should be considered before entering into the lifestyle. If you don’t know your boundaries, my suggestion would be to start slow, maybe a soft swap then slowly see what you are comfortable with and how seeing your partner with someone else makes you feel.
REVIEW: Playboy TV – Sextreme Makeover – S1 E6
Season 1: Episode 6
Rating: 
In this episode, Melanie and Maksim suffer from boring sex while Bradley and Corin only have sec about once a week.
A Sex Wellness Educator helps Melanie and Maksim shake things up a bit by showing them how to spend more time on foreplay. They blindfold Melanie and Maksim runs feathers, an electric toothbrush and a spatula up and down her bare skin. This incorporates the 5 senses into their foreplay which really helps to get them out of their rut.
Bradley and Corin meet with a Sex Wellness Educator and she suggests that they make tease tapes for each other. This is meant to help them be more spontaneous and sexy and break out of their routine. Watching Bradley make his tease tape made us chuckle a bit. He was so uncomfortable and was imitating a make dancer with rip away pants. That was probably my favorite part of this show.
I liked both of the suggestions in this episode a lot. I could see us incorporating these into our sex life.
REVIEW: Playboy TV – Swing – Jessica and Mike – S1 E9
Season 1: Episode 9
Rating:
Jessica and Mike have been together for a year and a half and are interested in trying something new. The main purpose of their visit was to test the boundaries and see if they are ready to take the plunge with another couple. Mike didn’t really want to be with another woman but was more interested in watching his lady with other women.
Jessica mentions many times how nervous she is but she kept experiencing things that help eased her anxiousness. They women poured chocolate syrup, whipped cream and sprinkles on each other then let the guys and each other lick it off. They then headed upstairs and all jumped in the bathtub together. After that she was ready for whatever the night would bring.
All of the women then piled on the bed and played with the double sided dildos while the men watched. There wasn’t much girl on guy action during this episode but Mike was perfectly happy just watching his wife with the other women.
They met with a therapist and he explained to her how his fantasies all revolve around Jessica and how he loves to watch her with a man or woman but doesn’t want to participate. Jessica explained how she liked to be the one he watches. It was a very different experience than some of the other episodes but I love seeing the difference in couples and what makes them want to join the lifestyle. In the end, they did decide to swing again.
I like this show because we have considered swinging and I still have a lot of questions and concerns around it. The more I see couples going through with it, I realize that they have many of the same concerns I do, including jealousy. I also like hearing what the therapist has to say to the couple and how she asks the questions to really make them think about their decisions and their choices on one another. I also like how the shows focuses on how understanding and nice the other swingers are. You have to be open minded to be in that lifestyle and it seems like no matter what the couple’s concerns are, the other swingers are completely understanding of that and do whatever they can to help the couple be more open and comfortable.
**If you and your lover are interested in swinging or just visiting with another couple to see if what it may be like to be in the lifestyle, try this website. It helps you connect with other swingers in your area and the site offers blogs, video chats and forums that allow you to connect with people before meeting them in person. The best part…there is a free trial.
REVIEW: Playboy TV – The Stash – S1 E13
Season 1: Episode 13
Rating:
This immediately reminded me of a sexier version of The Soup. Rachel Perry hosts the show by showing clips of old porn movies, reality TV shows and Youtube videos. She adds hilarious commentary and there you go, The Stash.
My favorite clip was WeeMX. There were several “little” people dressed as the cast of TMZ that interviewed other famous little people. They were dressed as the cast of TMZ, had hair and makeup done to resemble them as well as having the mannerisms down.
This episode also features clips from the Twat Squad, Chunky School Girls and Perverted Stories #24. His favorite clip was from Perverted Stories. There was a mummy laying on this man’s desk while he interviewed an intern. As he tells her she got the job, he explains how mummies used to have their wives get them hard before they died so they could stay erect in the afterlife. The man leaves the room and when he comes back, the girls is sucking the mummy’s cock. The guy freaks out because she has awaked the mummy from the dead and yelled “Quit sucking on that petrified penis!’ It is a ridiculous clip but SO hilarious.
We were literally in tears for almost this entire episode. I never thought we would be laughing that hard at a show on Playboy!
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