Top Relationship Issues: Porn

Written by Her on May 4, 2012 in Blog

This may be one of the biggest issues we will talk about in this series. I used to be the girl that would get terribly upset about my man watching porn. That was until I realized how much it could enhance our relationship.

Let’s start with WHY it is an issue. I think the biggest issue with watching porn is jealousy. A woman may feel that her man watched porn because she isn’t good enough for him. Some may even think this is cheating. A contributing factor to that feeling is the bodies of the women in these movies. Women may feel like it gives their men an unrealistic picture of sexuality and they may start requesting to do things that are done in the movies. (IE: Cum on the girl’s face). For some people, porn can become an addiction. Being addicted to porn can ruin one’s chances at a healthy relationship so that should not be taken lightly. The issues we are talking about here are not going to help with an addiction.

The key to any lasting relationship is communication and openness. The same goes for watching porn. If one person in the relationship wants to watch it, they should bring it up to their partner. If their partner is absolutely against it or uncomfortable then that needs to be talked through. Like any other matter you discuss in a relationship, if both people don’t agree with it, then it doesn’t need to happen. It could harm your relationship.

Why we watch porn together: 

Like I said before, porn was something I was against for a long time. My fiance didn’t bring it up and neither did I so it wasn’t something I was worried about. An outside source was actually the one that suggested we give it a try. Once we did experiment and watch it together for the first time, I realized we would be doing that a lot more. We started small, with HBO’s Real Sex and Cinemax on Demand. Then slowly, we moved to websites and just experimented on what we liked watching together. That is how we came across Playboy TV. TV for Two is set of shows they offer catered to couples. It isn’t all hardcore porn but rather shows with a story line, humor and of course, sex, that are fun to watch together. We will still watch porn from websites but we know what we are into now so it never makes us uncomfortable. It has changed our relationship, for the better. Instead of him asking me do to something I am uncomfortable with, we find new positons to try. We also get to see positions and situations that remind us of things we have done which makes our sex that much better. Porn turns us on, so we have sex more often. We also use it to learn new things. Before we had our threesome, we would watch videos of threesomes to get ideas about what to do with an extra woman in our bed. It was incredibly helpful for us.

Each relationship is different and really just depends on the people as to what is going to work for them. I don’t think there is anything wrong with watching porn together as long as it doesn’t become an addiction and you can still have sex without it. If one of the partner’s starts to pay more attention to porn than their partner, it may be time to reconvene and decide if if it becoming an addiction.

If your partner is trying to get you to watch porn with them and you still just aren’t feeling it, try reading erotic novels together. That is still sexy and you may feel more comfortable with it since you aren’t having to watch it.

If you feel porn is causing problems in your relationship and you have tried talking to your partner about it with no resolution, go and see a couple’s therapist. They can help you get to the bottom of the issue by finding out why your partner needs to watch porn and they may also be able to offer your suggestions to lead a healthier relationship.

couples, Porn, top relationship issues