To swing or not to swing…

Written by Her on January 17, 2012 in Blog

Swinging is something that a surprising number of couples do. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are having problems in their relationship but just that they either want to watch other people have sex, add another person to their sex session or add multiple people to it. Obviously, jealousy can come up as an issue and that is one I personally struggle with. Thus being the reason I research information about ways to get over it.

There are many different types of swinging and it all depends on what you and your partner are looking for.

Exhibitionism: This means you want to stay with your partner but you like being watched by others.

Voyeurism: This is when you enjoy watching others mess around or have sex without being involved. In some areas, this may not be acceptable so it is important to check with whatever event you will be at beforehand.

Soft Swap: When you do venture to other couples but stick to touching and kissing. Oral may also be included in a soft swap.

Peak/Full Swap: This is when you have sex with someone other than your partner.

There are other kinds such as group sex, threesomes and other extreme forms of play.

You can also choose whether you want to be in the same room or different room as your partner. Many couple’s prefer to be in the same room because it turns them on to see their partner with someone else. A popular option is girl on girl. The men will watch while the women get to play with each other.

The idea around swinging is to enhance your sex life with your partner by putting yourselves in a very sexy, comfortable environment where your fantasies can become reality. Due to the measures taken, I would say you need to be in a strong relationship and that both people have to want to swing. That doesn’t mean that both people want to participate but just that they will be comfortable and open minded about whatever happens. If both people weren’t comfortable or if one went too far, it could ruin a normally healthy relationship.

There are a few ways to find other swingers in your area and one I am personally more comfortable with is SDC.com. You can try it for free, make a profile of you and your partners preferences including, looks that you prefer, what you are looking for and what you both will and will not do. They also offer other services where you can chat with other swingers so if you are new to it, this may be where you realize what you want or where you can meet a couple and chat with them first before meeting up in person. You can also look at sex clubs, or house parties if you are lucky enough to get invited. I personally was never good at picking up men while I was single so I prefer a website to help me with that part.

I read this article that goes over the different reasons couples drop out of the swinging lifestyle and the number one reason is jealousy. Close after is threat to marriage. These are all things that should be considered before entering into the lifestyle. If you don’t know your boundaries, my suggestion would be to start slow, maybe a soft swap then slowly see what you are comfortable with and how seeing your partner with someone else makes you feel.