Top Relationship Issues: Communication
Communication is the key to any healthy relationship. These days, however, we are so wrapped up in our cell phones, computers or TV that some couples forget to take the time and actually talk to each other.
Just like we talked about with the sex issue, make time to communicate with your partner. Something as simple as asking about their day and taking the time to talk to them about it could mean the world. I know it does to me. If your afternoons are busy with kids and sports, then take some time to wind down and talk before bed. The more you prolong conversations, the more feelings could get built up, leading in one partner shutting down. Once someone doesn’t feel like talking anymore, it will be really hard to convince them to open back up to you.
Remember to communicate with out yelling. If you can’t do that, go to a park or something that way you won’t want to yell for fear of embarrassment.
If there is some phrase or word that just really boils your blood, tell your partner so they will respect that. It isn’t good to accuse, interrupt or place blame. You can gently talk about your accusations without hurting feelings. On that note, once you say something hurtful, you may be able to apologize but the damage is done so be careful not to be harsh.
Listening is also a huge part of communication. Be aware of you body language and facial expressions and be patient while your partner expresses their concerns. This also means that both people need to make an effort. If one person is always the one trying to talk about something, then the process won’t work.
Some people communicate better verbally while others need to write or type out their feelings which is fine too. You just have to understand that about your partner and work with them to ensure that you communicate together.
This includes communication in the bedroom. Tell your partner what feels good or what you want them to do to you. It will turn them on and ensure you both feel amazing.
Here is a sexy tip…My man and I will send each other sexy messages or emails telling each other what we want to do to the other. So why not step it up? Send an email to him or her once a week telling them about a fantasy you would like to act out. That will give them something to think about all day and open up the conversation. Even though you may not be communicating about bill or kids, you are still communicating and being open with each other and that is the most important thing.
10 Ways to Boost Your Libido
If your sex drive just isn’t what it used to be, read this article and try out these handy tips to boost your libido. These are tips that can help women and men of all ages who just can’t seem to get in the mood as often as they used to.
1) Drink in moderation.
By reducing anxiety and stress, one drink can help you get in the mood for sex. Alcohol is a depressant though so too many and you could end up with quite the opposite problem.
2) Try Aphrodisiacs.
They aren’t a miracle potion but they contain vitamins and minerals that aid in sexual functioning.
3) Stop smoking.
Smoking can have a terrible affect on blood flow to sexual organs as it causes the blood vessels to narrow.
4) Keep fit.
Moderate regular exercise will help blood flow to the sexual organs. Exercise also increases your self esteem which will boost your libido.
5) Lose weight.
Being overweight can affect not only your self-esteem and your feelings of sexuality but you’re likely to suffer from blood vessel disease which can reduce essential blood flow to the genitals.
6) Eat the right things.
If your body becomes frail due to bad health, sex invariably suffers. Vitamins and antioxidants will help maintain good blood flow to the sex organs and prevent certain chronic diseases.
7) Massage.
Massage techniques can do wonders for sexual arousal particularly if you’re stressed, worried or angry.
8) Yohimbine.
Plant remedies like yohimbine are thought to treat a variety of men’s health issues.
9) Ginko Biloba
This herbal remedy made from the leaves of the gingko biloba tree, is known to improve blood flow to the brain and sexual organs. It is thought to have an enhancing effect upon desire, excitement and orgasm.
10) Feel good about yourself.
Nothing reduces your interest in sex more than low self-esteem. Spoil yourself when you’re feeling down and take some time to relax or do an activity that makes you feel better within yourself.
Health Benefits of Love
I read this article and thought it was interesting. It is good to know that love is not only fun, but also good for your health!
This is just an overview of the article but I recommend you check it out.
*Love is good for your heart.
Studies show that those who had felt love had less blockage in coronary arteries.
*Love reduces your risk on cancer.
Statistics show that cancer rates are lower in married couples. A healthy sex life can also lead to a lower risk on prostate cancer for men.
*Sex relieves stress.
Sex can help lower your blood pressure and improve your responses to stressors.
*Sex makes you sleep better.
Sex is not only a tiring workout, it releases the perfect combination of hormones and endorphines to help you relax.
*Love and live.
Studies show that there are lower mortality rates in couples. This could be due to lower stress levels and the fact that when people get married, they give up the riskier behavior they participated in when they were single.
*Love kills pain.
During a kiss, natural anesthetics are released in your saliva, helping to relieve pain. A good romp in the hay can also help soothe aches, as oxytocin (called the “love hormone”) levels increase during intercourse.
*Love and sex improve immunity.
It has been shown that loneliness and isolation contribute to a weaker immune system. Finding love helps you build your immunity and heal faster. In addition, a healthy and active sex life improves physical health and has been shown to increase antibodies in your system, helping you fight illness and infection.
*Love boosts self-esteem.
Having a close, intimate relationship with someone (and a good sex life) does wonders for your self-confidence and self-esteem.
*Sex can regulate your period.
Having sex can make you stay more regular.
*Forgiveness and love.
Forgiveness in your relationships can increase self-esteem, positivity and hopefulness, as well as reduce anxiety and depression.
Please hold while I poor my heart out.
So, as some of you know, I have my apprehensions about swinging or entering the “lifestyle”. I have done a lot of research, read the good and bad about it, heard about other people’s experiences and talked to my man several times about how I was feeling. Which was, to be honest, nervous, scared, jealous and worried that this encounter could ruin our relationship. That was my first mistake because nothing can ruin our relationship. We both want to make each other so happy that we will do anything and we always have the other’s best interests in mind. So I knocked that worry out. A lot of readers actually helped me with my jealousy and nervousness by talking to me in the chat or telling me your experiences in the comments. The thought that someone actually reads and cares about what I have to say makes me endlessly happy. I never dreamed I would get to interact with so many amazing people who are all so supportive of us and the path we are on but also of each other.
But enough of the mushy stuff. 
I could tell something was bothering my fiance last night and I literally had to beg him to tell me what was wrong. We had a pretty bad day and were exhausted after traveling and a few other things we ran into as soon as we got here and he didn’t want to talk. I just couldn’t take no for an answer. I literally laid on top of him and asked him over and over to talk to me or I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I probably didn’t take the right approach but I am glad I begged him because we had the most amazing talk and I feel we are so much stronger every time we have a fight, argument or deep talk like that. He really opened my eyes about a lot of things.
I think one of my biggest issues was that I didn’t know what he was expecting out of the experience, should we have it. I have mentioned before that he was previously married and was in the lifestyle and it seemed to me like his ex was willing to dive into whatever, no big deal. Where as I had carefully weighed all the options, thus making me feel like the lame second wife who wasn’t as outgoing. What I haven’t mentioned is that one reason I struggled so much with the thought of being with other people is that it goes against everything I was taught growing up. My family wasn’t fire and brimstones but they were religious and I was taught that it was wrong to have sex before marriage. I was on that path for a long time and was one of the only girls in my senior class that was still a virgin. Long story short, I haven’t had anyone as patient and loving as he is to show me new experiences like this or teach me how to be more open in our sex life. I am beyond words lucky that he came into my life.
While the talk consisted of many things he needed to get off his chest, the biggest thing for me that came up in conversation was swinging. He hasn’t told me really what he wanted other than to make me happy. Well I didn’t know what I wanted either but I know that had the swinging thing not come up, I never would have thought about messing around with other people and I would have been happy in my monogamous marriage for the rest of our lives. However, I am more cultured now than I was when we met (Thank goodness) and I have a decision to make. What he said, though so simple, changed the whole way I have been thinking about this. I guess in the back of my mind I thought he really wanted to sleep with other people, which meant I was boring or not as good as past relationships. I know now that I was COMPLETELY wrong and I feel so ridiculous for acting like a jealous school girl. He didn’t tell me what he wanted because he doesn’t have expectations. He wants to just go and know that I will be willing to have an open mind and take it one little step at a time. He said he didn’t care if we did nothing but watch other people or we have a replay of NYC night. He just wanted to see what we were open to, together. He felt that the night I kissed and groped that other woman, it brought us much closer together and he is right. I feel the same. I don’t have regrets, I had a blast and it made us stronger, so why WOULDN’T we want to try again? It is really that simple. He also said that if I became uncomfortable at any point, we could stop and go back to the life we have made together thus far… no regrets.
So here I am, saying..I’m all in. I want to make the most of our relationship even if it doesn’t go all the way. That is the most important reason. However, I can’t deny the fact that I have had a ton of people interested in our story and I would like to give you guys something good to read about .=)
So here we go, expect big things coming up. I know I am. And again…I truly want to thank all of you that have taken the time to talk to me about this and other things. Also, if you read this whole thing, I apologize for taking so much time out of your day. I really needed to get this off my chest. You guys are THE BEST. XOXO
Heading home
I am sad to say we are flying home today. We had an amazing time in NYC! You guys were so great at recommending places for us to check out and I really appreciate that!
While I am sad to leave, I cannot WAIT to get home so I can share our experiences with all of you! It will be a busy couple of days as I settle back into the swing of things so be patient with me.
Thanks again for all of your support and ideas and I hope you will enjoy reading about our time here in the Big Apple.
XOXOxo
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