Top Relationship Issues: Trust
Trust is one of the most important things to have in a relationship. Without it, in my opinion, a relationship won’t be strong and likely won’t last.
Of course there are many reasons why you may not trust your significant other. Maybe something happened in the past that led you to feel betrayed, maybe it is the way they don’t keep their word that leads to those feelings. Whatever the cause, trust is something that has to be built and if you don’t feel you can ever trust them, you need to take a deep look at your relationship and figure out if it is one you should be in.
Top Relationship Issues: Porn
This may be one of the biggest issues we will talk about in this series. I used to be the girl that would get terribly upset about my man watching porn. That was until I realized how much it could enhance our relationship.
Let’s start with WHY it is an issue. I think the biggest issue with watching porn is jealousy. A woman may feel that her man watched porn because she isn’t good enough for him. Some may even think this is cheating. A contributing factor to that feeling is the bodies of the women in these movies. Women may feel like it gives their men an unrealistic picture of sexuality and they may start requesting to do things that are done in the movies. (IE: Cum on the girl’s face). For some people, porn can become an addiction. Being addicted to porn can ruin one’s chances at a healthy relationship so that should not be taken lightly. The issues we are talking about here are not going to help with an addiction.
Top Relationship Issues: Commitment
When is the last time you made a big decision, even life changing decision without experiencing some anxiety or fear? Your answer is probably never. Committing to someone is no different. “For better, for worse” is not to be taken lightly. You will be scared at times, maybe even doubtful but committing to someone means you work through anything that comes your way.
If you are new in a relationship, this is a very common feeling. You may like this person more than you anticipated and it is just now occurring to you that you may be a little more attached than you thought possible. It is a natural feeling, just don’t let it overwhelm you. The feeling can also occur before you get married. “Oh shit, I’m going to be with this person for the rest of my life!” Again, natural feeling and it will pass.
If you are afraid to commit because you feel like you have to give up your freedom, talk it over with your significant other. If you fear you can’t go out with the guys anymore or go shopping with the girls, let them know those are things that are still important to you. Also realize that when you enter a deeply committed relationship, that person should become your best friend. If you aren’t ready to give up some of your freedom, then you shouldn’t be entering in to a relationship.
Top Relationship Issues: Jealousy
Jealousy can stem from a number of things. To overcome jealous thoughts, you need to figure out where they are coning from. Insecurity, your own cheating history, your past or your childhood could all cause these feelings. There is an amount of jealousy that is healthy but too much of it can ruin your relationship.
When feelings of extreme jealousy hit, take a deep breath and think about the big picture. Is it really SO horrible that a girl looks at him? No, take it as a compliment. He isn’t touching her without your consent, so what’s the big deal? Find a way to make those instances turn you on instead.
From my personal experiences, I can look back on times that I was extremely jealous and laugh about it. Why did that make me SO upset? Maybe it was because the relationship was newer and I hadn’t quite built up my trust in him. I don’t know but to have a successful relationship, you have to work through these feelings and I have a couple of ideas that may help.
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Top Relationship Issues: Communication
Communication is the key to any healthy relationship. These days, however, we are so wrapped up in our cell phones, computers or TV that some couples forget to take the time and actually talk to each other.
Just like we talked about with the sex issue, make time to communicate with your partner. Something as simple as asking about their day and taking the time to talk to them about it could mean the world. I know it does to me. If your afternoons are busy with kids and sports, then take some time to wind down and talk before bed. The more you prolong conversations, the more feelings could get built up, leading in one partner shutting down. Once someone doesn’t feel like talking anymore, it will be really hard to convince them to open back up to you.
Remember to communicate with out yelling. If you can’t do that, go to a park or something that way you won’t want to yell for fear of embarrassment.
If there is some phrase or word that just really boils your blood, tell your partner so they will respect that. It isn’t good to accuse, interrupt or place blame. You can gently talk about your accusations without hurting feelings. On that note, once you say something hurtful, you may be able to apologize but the damage is done so be careful not to be harsh.
Listening is also a huge part of communication. Be aware of you body language and facial expressions and be patient while your partner expresses their concerns. This also means that both people need to make an effort. If one person is always the one trying to talk about something, then the process won’t work.
Some people communicate better verbally while others need to write or type out their feelings which is fine too. You just have to understand that about your partner and work with them to ensure that you communicate together.
This includes communication in the bedroom. Tell your partner what feels good or what you want them to do to you. It will turn them on and ensure you both feel amazing.
Here is a sexy tip…My man and I will send each other sexy messages or emails telling each other what we want to do to the other. So why not step it up? Send an email to him or her once a week telling them about a fantasy you would like to act out. That will give them something to think about all day and open up the conversation. Even though you may not be communicating about bill or kids, you are still communicating and being open with each other and that is the most important thing.
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